Upside Down Logic and Diabetes…

This whole diabetes thing has really challenged my logic when it comes to how I think the way things are/should be. You think you understand something and then something crazy happens to blow it all out of the water. I had an experience that completely baffled me a few days ago..

The first night/morning I went to bed with BG of 130. A bit high but a decent BG. I was a bit hungry, as I always am before bed but I don’t usually eat after 7 if I can avoid it. Most of us don’t. Common logic says, not good. So I wake up the next morning and take my BG and it’s a shocker: 235. WHOA. What happened here? I woke tired and was achy and my skin and feet hurt. Yeah, a fun side-effect of diabetes. And I was THIRSTY! So thirsty. So, here I am thinking okay, so I’m starving but my BG is so high what do I do now? Well I was hungry so I ate my normal stuff; Peanut Butter toast, skim milk and an apple. Okay I thought, now I’m ready for my sugar to go crazy. I couldn’t understand why I went to bed with good BG and woke up with bad. I thought well maybe, it was this whole delayed reaction thing but then that didn’t even make sense. It had been 6 hours since I ate when I did finally make it into bed. While that’s too long for a diabetic I was still thinking.. it’s late.. I don’t want to gain weight.

A couple hours later I take my sugar expecting the worst and I was SHOCKED. BG: 135. WHA? Hm. This is odd. Again, my thinking was that when you eat, your sugar goes up. But it was lower than ever. Odd.

Next night/morning same thing. Same scenario. BG 135 at bedtime and waking: 295!!! WHOA! Now that’s scary. I can take 235 because I can still go for a walk or whatever but once your BG goes into the 250+ it’s danger. You risk getting nerve damage and hurting your muscles and heart. Shit! What now? I’m STARVING in the morning because again, I don’t eat late so it had been 12 or more hours since I’d eaten. I have to eat. I did eat. Same thing.. Peanut butter toast and skim milk, apple. It’s become my favorite thing to eat. Anyway, 2 hours later I check my BG: 120. Hm. Now I’m SERIOUSLY confused.

When I get confused I head out onto the internet. What did we do before this gigantic wealth of electronic information? I don’t know because I would be lost! So I search for about 20 minutes and finally fall upon several sites talking about “Dawn Phenomenon”. It explained me to the T. Everything, every single symptom and IDENTICAL scenarios. Bingo. That’s me I said. So I read on. Getting as much info on it, and how I can avoid it. This is where confusing logic plays a role. The following is cited from Diabetic-Talk.org :

The Dawn Phenomenon:

Everyone, diabetic or not, exhibits some Dawn Phenomenon. It is a natural part of our bodies’ circadian rhythms. Some have said it is the way our ancestors had the strength to rise and slay a wooly behemoth for breakfast.

Since most of us fast while sleeping, with teenagers a possible exception, our bodies use stored energy during sleep. If you have read our Nutrition Section, you know that the body uses all three macro-nutrients (carbohydrates, proteins, and fats) to store energy.

The most easily used is the storage medium of carbohydrates, called glycogen. Glycogen is made from glucose, and is stored in the liver and muscles. Since it is basically nothing more than a complex matrix of glucose, it is easy for the body to store and use, something the body does all day long. The technical term for the act of creating and storing glycogen is glycogenesis. When the body calls for the conversion of glycogen back to glucose it is called glycogenolysis.

Another macro-nutrient that is available to be converted to glucose is protein. Most of us think of our protein as being stored in muscle, but the body has protective mechanisms to make muscle wasting its last choice. One of the most useful and readily available sources of protein storage is in blood components, i.e., albumin (plasma). The body uses a process performed in the liver to convert amino acids, the building blocks of proteins, into glucose. The name for this process is gluconeogenesis, literally “the creation of new glucose”.

So, what does all this have to do with a high fasting BG? Overnight, usually between 4am and 11am, your body releases some hormones. These are Growth Hormone (GH) from the anterior pituitary gland, cortisol from the adrenal cortex, glucagon from your pancreatic alpha-cells, and epinephrine (adrenalin). These hormones cause an increase in insulin resistance, raising your BG. In addition, these hormones trigger glycogenolysis and gluconeogenesis, adding stored or new glucose to your bloodstream.

Dawn Phenomenon, and its associated increase in insulin resistance, is the reason most diabetics are far more sensitive to carbs in the morning.

—————————-End of Cite——————————————————————————-

Pretty crazy eh? Yeah, that’s what I was thinking too. Good to know is what I say.

So I tried it out. Thinking, well, if it doesn’t work then I have a new set of problems that I’ll let the Doc sort out. That night I ate a teaspoon of peanut butter and 8 oz of skim milk for a snack before I went to bed. A high protein snack with a bit of fat in it. Something that takes a while to digest. That was the suggested form of therapy. And wouldn’t ya know it, I woke with lower BG than ever!

More confusing logic is that you would think that your BG would stay lower the less food you ate. Not so. it’s still about WHAT you eat but that’s the whole point … I believe that the Dawn Phenomenon kind of exists in me all day long. I’ve been eating more frequently really healthy stuff like fruits, veggies, and nuts and my BG has been stellar! I got a 104 yesterday. I don’t get those often. I stay anywhere between 120-150 most of the time. Still a bit higher than I want to be. With the above though process and eating habits I believe my BG will be near perfect soon.

I’m combining the Dawn Phenomenon logic with the Glycemic Load way of eating. I went shopping last night and it was so amazing! Much, much better than my first carb-free low-carb shopping experience. I’m more cognizant of fats now too. I’m not going crazy but I need to be aware.

As my body is able to use the insulin that it produces (through good eating and exercise) I will probably gain some weight. I think I’ve talked about this before. But anyway, right now a lot of my glucose is expelled and not used. This is not good of course but it’s keeping me at this current weight.

Don’t be tempted by the above to keep your BG high to lose weight. If you think for one second that this is a good idea, I need to help you understand how terribly horrifying this could be for you. If you don’t already know, as your BG stays high your nerves die and then blood supply to that area of the body eventually loses it’s ability to bring blood to it. It dies. You lose a toe, hand, leg, finger, arm….. get the idea? You WILL lose weight, I bet a leg weighs 50 lbs at least! I wonder what a hand weighs? 10 lbs? Better yet, what does a new, 10,000 prosthetic weigh? I bet a lot more than the real deal! Oh and if you wanted to be able to find your prosthesis in the morning that might be tough when you lose your eyesight from prolonged exposure to high BG levels.

You get the idea… don’t even tempt yourself with it.

Okay so with that being said lets talk a bit more about confusing logic… ha ha.. I like this one. Brain teaser!

Alcohol and blood sugar. What is your first instinct about that statement? Mine was that it would undoubtedly raise BG like mad! Interestingly enough, and that’s why I call this a brain teaser, that is just not the way it works. Now, biologically I don’t really understand why yet, but I know it’s true. It was one of the things that you can do to cancel out Dawn Phenomenon. Drinking a glass of dry to semi-sweet wine will in fact keep your BG good whilst in sleepy land. To further this conversation I did a little test to prove or disprove this. I used hard-alcohol to test the theory so I can’t say whether wine works or not. I had gotten stressed about something and my BG popped up about 60 points to 180. I drank 1 shot of brandy and it brought it down 20 points almost immediately. Another shot and another 10 points down. Now, I wouldn’t recommend this as your way to stay in a good BG range but if you like to occasionally like to partake in spirits then I’d say that’s perfectly acceptable. In MODERATION. And there are a few rules to this as well.. Now this logic WILL make sense to you. You want to balance the ratio of alcohol content with whatever you decide to put it with. For instance a screwdriver has Vodka and Oj. I would think that this could be okay and tolerated for the most part. Vodka has a pretty good alcohol content and would balance out the oj for the most part. I would only have one though. You might be playing Russian Roulette with the next one. Dry to semi-sweet wines is a good choice and red wines are especially beneficial to your health. They contain an anti-oxidant found in grapes and the experts say that the actual alcohol is beneficial in lowering blood pressure as the “feeling” you get is very mellowing. All good stuff. A glass a night to ward off Dawn Phenomenon might be in my near future. I’ll have to switch to the kind of wine I buy right now as all we have is sweet but there are plenty of great-tasting wines that aren’t full of sugar. Shiraz and Riesling are two wines that are better in the sugar dept. Merlot would be the perfect choice, but I have not found one that I really love to drink. And let’s face it, if it doesn’t taste good there really is no point in putting it in your face.

So in closing, think less of what you CAN’T have and more about what you CAN! Understand that knowledge is power and the more you know the better armed you are in dealing with the big, crazy D. Eat whole, unprocessed foods or nearly unprocessed, that will take your body longer to break down. Think of your food in terms of what it can do for you internally and really start getting to know the nutritional values of the things that you eat. Understand that food is supposed to taste good but not to be used as an emotional crutch. And if you’re not an emotional food eater, then you’ve probably just become a fat/sugar addict. There is hope. You CAN get off the crap.

Get some books that help you understand the glycemic loads of foods. While you need to steer clear of making unhealthy obsessions about food by trying to know every single value of every single food, the books that are geared towards glycemic recipes will help you understand how to put foods together for good glycemic loads.

Eat well. Eat what you like just swap out processed foods for unprocessed ones. A fresh apple is just as delicious as a glass of apple juice. And way better for you, good for your skin and teeth, bowls and great for your overall nutritional health.

Avoid empty calories! You’ve got to be aware that some of the things that you’re putting in your face are completely deprived of nutritional content. You’re going to spend the points anyway so why not spend them on something that is going to make your head, tummy and heart happy?

Don’t go hungry. Keep your metabolism high by eating like a monkey. Imagine how they move through the forest and on their way collecting nuts, seeds, fruits, berries, grass and other really amazing foods. De-evolve your eating habits and by that I mean just keep it simple. Grab that piece of fruit sitting on your kitchen counter and if you don’t have any you should go get some. Grab a handful of alomonds. Get yourself a carrot. Hell, make a smoothie out of simply berries and yogurt. Just keep it simple.

We all already know all of this stuff. The media buzzes with the newest greatest latest eating trends all the time. Some of them resurface again and again and those are the ones that forge on based on the principles I’ve talked about previously. Just plain and simply eating good foods. That’s a broad term I know, and if you’re still confused get yourself a good health food book or talk to your dietician. That would actually be my first advice- A good knowledgable Doctor that can help you make better choices and teach you why. I’m actually considering that as well.

be good to yourself,

Time to eat. Well

Payton

The Glycemic Index and Good BG

In my previous post I talked a little bit about this book that I recently purchased called “The Good Carbohydrate Cookbook”. This is  now my personal food-bible.

I love it. 6 months ago my dad started talking to me about the Glycemic index and how it was important to think about the loads of foods. Huh? So, my first step was to take a look and even print off a glycemic index. Good start but confusing. There are how many foods and what do these numbers mean again?

The first part of the GCC (good carb cookbook) breaks everything down into easy to understand, common logic things about foods. What I took from the book is basically that if food is in it’s natural form, as in unprocessed, most of the time it will be good for you. There are a few exceptions to that rule. Watermelon being one of them off the top of my head. Most melons are pretty hard on the system as they are mainly water and sugar and very easily broken down by the body. Sugar being natural, but still seen as glucose by the  body.

To make this a little more interesting of a read lets talk about breads and flours. I think bread could easily be one of America’s favorite foods- White flour is about as good to eat as spackling is. And I think it does the same job inside of your body. It has the same nutritional values and will dump extreme amounts of glucose into your blood stream very quickly. Even “Enriched” breads don’t come close to touching the nutritional values of whole grain breads. Don’t let it fool you. It’s still crap. I don’t know about you but that puts me off the stuff all together. If you take flour and make bread you have the same fiasco- Baked spackle. Yum! Slap some butter on that and call it a meal right? Not so much. Moral of the story is: The less processed a grain is the better it is for you. While a hearty 12 grain bread made with whole wheat flour is going to have exponentially more carbs (23 – 30)  than say a bread that has low carbs (7 – 9) it is still LIGHT YEARS better for you and here is why: Anything that can be broken down quickly and absorbed into the bloodstream is inevitably going to raise your glucose levels. And this holds true for non-diabetic people as well. That whole grain bread will release glucose into your blood stream at a far slower rate because your body can’t break it down as fast. Therefore, it’s way better for you. This is good news for anyone. Healthy or otherwise. Any time you have excess glucose in the system it will be stored in the vital organs as fat  to be used later. If it isn’t used later, then it will stay there and that’s how we get fat. Plain and simple.

One of my BIGGEST questions about food: If it’s from the ground and has semi-high carbs, can I eat it? YES! You can. While it  might have high carbs as explained about bread, the glycemic load is still decent. Usually between very low and moderate. There are different levels of glycemic loads they are Very low, Low, Moderate, Moderate-High, High. My first month of exploring the nutritional values of foods based solely on carbs left me baffled and starving! Nearly all things that nature makes are good for you that come from the ground. Beets are en exception as they are iffy on the glycemic index but anything done in moderation is always the key. Carrots are one of those crazy high-carb veggies that you can have because it has a relatively low glycemic load. In MODERATION carrots wont spike your BG. MODERATION being the key here again. If it tastes sweet or semi-sweet ease back on it. While it’s delicious, it’s going to hurt you if you eat too much of it. Large portions of food is never healthy with any kind of glycemic load/index.

Grapes. You can have them! In moderation of course. I think that’s the word of the day… moderation lol

THANK GOD FOR GRAPES! I love them. And apples and bananas and plums.. you get the gist. Bananas are another fruit that you want to kinda watch, but you can still have them. Eat them a bit green and you will really benefit! Bananas contain fantastic amount of potassium and vitamic C! The greener they are the more vitamic C they contain. Good  news!

I made Parmesan salmon last night with rosemary garlic and olive oil sweet potatoes (a recipe from the book) and then steamed fresh green beans for dinner. This was my first real “low glycemic” meal. I was amazed and delighted that when I got done eating I firstly actually felt “full” and then secondly very satisfied. First time in a while. “This I can do” I exclaimed.

Thank nature (literally) for this new way of eating. I had given up fruits, breads, pasta and a lot of other things that I absolutely love to eat. Did you catch that I said you can have pasta? Yes, you can. Whole wheat pasta al dente and in moderation. Will do the trick.

A VERY cool tip I got from the book (though I don’t want to give it all away, I want you to go get it!) is that if you eat things that have citric or other kinds of acids in them it lowers the glycemic to up to 30%. Adding lemon juice to fish or vinegar to something will help your body digest it more slowly.There are exceptions, as always.. read below…

Since we’re on the citrus topic lets talk about orange juice real fast. If you’re like me you’ve given it up all together. Even the fact that it is an acidic juice does not help it’s delicious sweet goodness.  You have to understand it’s load on your system. There is nothing to slow down the absorption so it will jet right to your bloodstream and just mess your gorgeous 80 – 120BG  right up!!! And we all know how hard it can be to get back down once you’ve gotten out of control! However, there is hope. I love citrus fruits and still am able to enjoy them and so can you! You have to eat that delicious orange whole (minus the skin of course) and your body will work on it slowly taking into consideration the fiber you are getting. Good for you orange juice… still in the package.

I am sooooooo excited to be trying some of these really really yummy-looking recipes in the GCC. We are eating a lot of fish this week but we are also going to be having one of my all-time favorite foods; beans. Beans are SUPER FOODS! I had crossed them off of my list before and again because of their carb content. Thank goodness I realized what I was doing! I am going to make us an old southern classic one night this week; White Beans and Ham. YUM! We will eat everything that is traditional to that meal less the cornbread. I probably could eat that and be okay but I need to reintroduce carbs slowly into my system. I took it all away for a while and feel like I need to do this slowly. Anyway, getting back to beans, they are just stellar foods to eat. They have loads of great stuff in them, high fiber and will make a great meat substitute if you’re looking for one. We will be having beans three times this week. I’m making chili one night as a main and savory black-eyed peas recipe from the GCC. Yum, again!

If you are still confused about carbs and glycemics I can certainly understand that. I highly recommend getting the a fore mentioned book “The Good Carb Cookbook”.

Btw just for the record, I am in NO WAY a professional and really have no business giving advice though I give it freely that doesn’t mean you should take it. You should only take advice about your health from your health care provider.

I am merely on my own personal journey with food and trying to rediscover my food instincts all over again.

Speaking of instincts, I was thinking about that last night as I was reading- We are a nation of obese and unhealthy peoples. Where did our instincts go when it comes to eating? Mother Nature didn’t forget this- Obviously, so what did we do with it? Is it like our keys or perhaps sunglasses? Will it show up in the couch cushions? It hit me and I started to think, “seriously, that bothers me that I don’t have this about me.”

Marci and I are preparing for our first child to come into the world and all I can think is that I better get this right now so my child does not have to think scary things like “Where is my head when it comes to food?” or have to one day be diagnosed with this scary, scary disease. While I think some of it is instinct alone I truly believe that we learn to eat from people in our environment. I learned from my parents who in turn learned from theirs.  By the time our little one comes along they will learn from me as well- The right things. I’ll be happy to teach them!

This post is getting a bit long so I will close for now… I will reopen another one about two topics: Alcohol and Diabetes and The Dawn Phenomenon.

Time eat. Well.

Payton

Doing the carbohydrate conga…

I’m not happy at all that I ended up here with this crazy thing that now runs my life but in a way it’s been a blessing.. albeit a blessing in disguise but I just had to put the right spectacles on to see it.

My eyes are open to this whole new world of healthy possibilities. Even more so now since I’ve recently purchased a few books to teach me about how to go about attaining optimum health through diet.

The first book is called “50 Secrets of the longest living people”. I’ve only read through the first dozen or so pages and I’m already completely excited about what this book might teach me. In the past, I never considered that eating really well could prevent things like heart disease or cancer. Now, it seems like a no-brainer. Like something that I’ve k nown all along and will just “do” now. One of the first things she says is “enjoy your food”. I thought to  myself, this book is for me! I’m so excited to try new foods and experience what good healthy eating can do for me. I’ve already gotten a taste of what a low-carb diet can do. Now, I’d like to explore the low-fat option as well.

While I’ve been reading every single label and been so so careful about what goes down the chute I am still a little baffled about the Glucose Index and it’s relation to my blood sugar. That being said my next book purchase should take a lot of the guess work out of compiling a decent tasting and healthy meal that will have a low glycemic load. It’s called “The Good Carb Cookbook”.  The front of the book says “secrets to eating low on the glycemic index”. That’s what I’m talking about!

The book starts out talking about demystifying carbs and the glycemic index. That all carbs are not created equal and how to tell the two apart. Then towards the back of the  book are more than 200 recipes that I am really excited to try. I skimmed through a few of them and I gotta say this stuff looks fab! I’m hoping to find a “Staple Foods List” somewhere in there so I can stock my pantries full of great food. Kinda takes out some of the hard work now doesn’t it?

I have one more book on it’s way to me and it’s called “101 secrets for lowering blood sugar”. I’m all about it.

In the past month I’ve been changing a lot of things about the way I eat but I’m nowhere near where I want to be. For instance I bought a lot of lunch meats and cheese, fruits and veggies and stuff that was low carb. That’s great but I think I already knew that I wasn’t going to be able to eat those things for long. These books will help me dial into a better, healthier way of eating. I am an ex-carb freak. When making new healthier choices for food I started to realize that about everything I put into my face was too high in carbs. I love breads and crackers and all those starchy foods. Even the vegetables I was eating were high in carbs! Corn and lima beans and the likes. No wonder I was living with 300 + BG.

I don’t usually make a lot of personal time for myself to read and do things other than work, but as I have made great strides in changing my food habits I need to make changes in my dedication to myself and my down time. I will make time to read these books because I am worth the effort. And everyone needs a break now and again!

This feels like such an exciting time for me. I love that I feel full of energy and hope! I can’t imagine giving this away to food again and I wont. I’m really looking forward to learning how to prepare really great tasting food that is low in carbs and good and filling. More over I’m really excited to not be so hungry all the time. When I cut my carbs back initially I was starving ALL the time. Now I’m just hungry about half as much of the time. I can feel myself getting tired of that feeling and wanting to do a bit of binging. I know that once I learn how to eat better that I wont have that need anymore. My brain keeps telling my stomach to stop worrying but my stomach keeps telling my brain to shut up and eat.

Yesterday was a trip to the doc and I wasn’t surprised but really happy with the results. My blood pressure is back to normal, my pulse was lower and without realizing it I am pretty much anxiety free. I’ve succeeded in canceling out quite a bit of co-morbidity. My sugar is down and getting better each day so in turn my blood pressure is down and further my brain is a happier place to be. It’s all one big happy domino effect. Doc was pleased with my BG readings from my monitor and a bit floored that I was taking this so seriously. Me too quite honestly. I’ve been heavy my whole life and I really thought this would take a lot longer to learn/do.

I go back to doc in April to get labs to see what my A1C will be. I thought perhaps I would know now but she reassured me that she thinks I might have lowered it by at least 4 points! Wow! Great news. So I went from a 10-11 to a 7 maybe. That’s great news doc, thanks!

We discussed my habit of going black and white with everything that I do and I told her that I did realize I was doing that. She warned me against that I told her that I was listening. I realized that I was trying to skirt around the issue of being addicted to food by pretty much disallowing myself to eat the things I loved. In saying and realizing that yesterday I now know that I’m just going to have to work that much harder at eating and being disciplined about it. It got harder because I was always hungry as I said before, but I’m on my way back to the middle of that pendulum again.

Wish me luck! I’ve got a long way to go but I’m just going to focus on enjoying the journey.

As always,

Time to eat. Well.

Payton

www.greenglasscafe.com

Monopoly

I might have written a “goodbye” letter to food in all  my rebellious glory but there have been some weak moments in the past few days.

Something happened this weekend (and I seriously can’t figure out what, I’m not just being private or elusive) that caused me to want to eat terrible things.

I got away pretty much unscathed but I noticed something that I haven’t felt in a long time- guilt. Have I been walking around with these feelings for so long that I didn’t realize it? Of course, they went away when I started eating better but I bet I’ve have about 4 or 5 tough eating days in the past month.

Last night was just about convenience. It was about it was 7 in the evening and I was still working like crazy and hadn’t realized it was so late so we ordered pizza and wings. I did make a better choice in getting this new crust that pizza hut offers called “the naturals”. It’s all natural ingredients with a whole grain crust. We always get a supreme. It’s  not the toppings that will make my BG (blood glucose) go crazy- It’s the crust. Well, this stuff isn’t too bad. 22-30 grams of carbs per slice. I had 2 with some salad and a couple of wings. I made decent choices so why do I feel riddled with guilt?

Maybe because I’ve convinced myself that I can’t ever have those things again. That’s not so much true but I think that was a futile effort to keep myself off all crap in general. It cant be that black and white I’m learning. I don’t operate well under those conditions. This is what happens… here is my guilt and dirty concience.

Moving on…. when I started this whole new food adventure it was like a “get out of jail free” card. I was released from the awful, terrible feelings that I had always felt for being in a love-affair with food. I could quit and not feel terrible about it anymore.

That’s somewhat true but it’s not quite that easy. So I sit with these new, unrealized emotions that I don’t exactly know what to do with. This is the “it will get harder before it gets easier part”. Yep. I’ve arrived there.

So on a more upbeat note, My BG has been stellar. My best waking fasting BG has been 135. My lowest BG during the day has been 104.

I’m still eating well and finding more and more things to add to my food repertoire. Sugar free chocolate milk that is so good has been the most recent. Sugar free cookies that taste just like thin mint girl scout cookies is yet another. Yum!

I see the doc today to find out where I am and what’s going on with my A1C. I hope it’s good news.

So, moral of the story is that if you’re going through this, don’t be as hard on yourself as I am on myself. One little slip up and I’m ready to put myself in “naughty eaters exile”.

I’ll just keep plugging along. Good news is that while I might have had a hard day yesterday, today is a whole new day. On the menu for breakfast: 2 over easy eggs with low carb toast and boca sausage. Yum.

Time to eat. Well.

Payton

Guitar Adventures By Payton Jett

So, it’s been a while since I posted about my beloved guitar! I still love it as much as ever and I play everday.

I’m working on LOTS of stuff. Mainly Adele songs but for anyone that really knows me that’s not a huge surprise. My favorite song to play of hers right now is “Melt my heart to stone”. Just really love everything about it. The vocals are challenging and the guitar part is mellow but still challenging. There are a lot of new chords that I never knew before trying the song so that was nice to add to my repertoire.

My dad and I have been getting together occasionally to play together and that’s been a lot of fun. We’re working on a few things and getting a little more serious about playing duets. He likes different music than I do but we always seem to meet in the middle somehow.

I’ve been fiddling around with “Hotel California”. I think it’s a great song for newbies espically ones that don’t play good barre chords. The beginning of the song has an F# and then a Bm. Both barre chords and I  play them compactly. Go me! lol

I’ve kinda given up on learning tab for right now. I just got really comfortable with chords and playing so I thought hell- Just enjoy yourself for a while. That’s what it’s all about anyway.

I’ll get back to learning licks and tabs. For sure. Right now I just enjoy hammering out a good song!

I bought a new pickguard for my guitar as well. It’s really pretty. Has nice lines to it and covers the part that I was starting to scratch up with the pick. Has flowers and a dove on it. I love it.

My dad and I have been trying out all kinds of new fingerpicks. I like them okay. I still havn’t found a practical application for them. I learned to fingerpick with my fingers so that’s what I’m used to. He is convinced that he needs them. I think they just make some things harder. IMHO fingerpicks are for volume- But he plays an electric so what does he need with that? lol

He is learning how to play “dust in the wind”. That is a song that took me a long time to learn. I spent hours learning the picking method on that and then a lot more learning how to play the chords right. I’m fairly certain he will pick it up a lot quicker than I did since he has about 10 years on me. lol It was a great song for me to learn though because it took me from not knowing anything to picking up some pretty good skills. There is a great tutorail on YouTube that I passed along to him and I think he’s using it.

I played guitar outside the other day as it’s been going back and forth between warming up and getting cool. I don’t know how much the neighbors enjoyed it but it was nice for me! lol

My dad lent me a great guitar book called “Fretboard logic”. I gotta tell ya, learning this stuff has made other stuff click in my head. It’s really a good book. I’m going to search for a copy of my own.

My guitar feels like a best friend. I absolutely love it. There is nothing better than being able to sit down and play music. It’s powerful.

More later.

Namaste

Payton

The big D…

No, I’m not talking about divorce. Rather Diabetes. I was diagnosed with type 2 three weeks ago.

Damn was my first thought. Shit. Shit shit shit. HOW did I let it get here? I knew I was pre diabetic years ago. How could I have ignored it.

There is a stupid saying: It wont happen to me!

Hm. Yeah. Well that worked out well.

It did happen to me and now I am here. Where is here? Well, I’m about to tell you about that right now.. grab a cup of jo, I have a lot to say on the topic.

So yeah, three weeks ago and all that but I knew a lot longer than I ever let on. For instance when I would torch my eyes would strain really bad. High blood sugar for sure. Sometimes they would get so blurry I could barely see what I was doing. Yikes. My blood pressure would just go nuts for no reason. I would almost fall into a coma (not really but ya know what I mean) after I ate and sometimes I would actually fall asleep. Not good. High blood sugar again. Oh there are so many little tell-tale signs and I ignored them all. How about the time that I took my sugar last August and I got a reading of 243? Then stopped buying strips because I got scared.

Yeah, well speaking of scared I was. Terrified. Got the call from the doc while I was relaxing and playing my guitar. “Payton, I gotta tell ya something not so good.” Me, “okay, just give it to me straight.”. I knew. Of course I knew. Doc, “well, kid, you have diabetes.” Silence.

“You still there?” Doc said. “Yeah, sorry, just sorta speechless I guess?” Doc says apologeticly “I’m sorry. Listen it’s not the end of the world. Lets get you in here to talk about what all of this means. Next Monday okay with you?” “sure.” I said. “Sure, Monday is fine.”

So what all of this means basically is if it fuc king tastes good spit the shit out! Okay so I like drama and it’s not really that bad but you have to understand that being a food addict meant that I was thinking about all the crappy things that I loved and ate and was now going to have to give up. All the crappy things that did this to me. All the wonderful, delicious things that brought me to this point. I’d been having a love affair with food and now we were getting ready to have a serious shift in our relationship. How would I tell food that I realized that it had done me wrong and should I do it over coffee? No, I wasn’t ready to do this but what choice did I have? It was time. Damn. Seriously this was going to suck.

It was time to write food a break-up letter and I knew exactly what I was going to say. It wasn’t going to be pretty and a bit messy since I still needed food to kinda stick around because I still needed food but that I was no longer willing to be involved in an emotional relationship. How was this going to work out? Well something like this..

Dear food,

Got an interesting call today and I gotta tell ya you’re not going to like what I have to say. So sit down and relax because this might take some time to sort out. We had it good. We really did. I didn’t mind the extra weight that you put on me because I enjoyed you so much. I didnt even mind it when the doc told me 10 years ago that I might have to rethink the way that I do things with you and that our relationship might not be so healthy. The call I got today has forced me to take a good hard long look at you and I and I have to put an end to this. You were never supposed to be about emotional stuff in the first place. Your job was to maintain and give my body nutrition. We weren’t really meant to be from the start and I knew that- In order to have you as a love interest I had to take a lot of shit as a kid and even more as an adult. It seemed like I could have you and only you because when I turned to you it made me feel bad about myself. The guilt of loving you so much has torn me up inside- in more ways than one. I’ve done things like lied about how much we have spent time together to save myself the embarrassment of having you too often- I’ve spent way too much money on trying to learn what other people with my same addiction to you do to break the habit of you- So now I get this call and I know you know I was leading up to this the whole time- The doc says you and I have to break up. I need to keep you around in spite of this because I do need you but we can’t be intimately involved anymore. This hurts me much more than it will ever even effect you and honestly I gotta tell you the payoff to having you around isn’t much of a payoff. I’m sick with an insidious disease that takes people’s limbs, eye sight and self-respect all because of you. I realize I made these choices but you certainly never told me no or tried to stop me from hurting myself. But thank you, for always being there for me. I’m going to strike out on my own now and learn to comfort myself in different ways. Oh, we’ll see each other again but never in the capacity that we used to. You will only be there when I need you for nutritional and dietary needs, not to say that I wont enjoy you on a different level now. Because that’s the most confusing thing about you- I nearly wish I was addicted to something that I did not have to have on a daily basis to survive! That, seems like it would be much easier than having to still have you around but not in an emotional aspect.

I will win this fight food. I will conquer my addiction to you. It will be hard. I know it will but I wont give up. I’m worth my weight in gold to me (and that’s a lot of gold right now buddy) and I wont let diabetes win. I will keep my toes and fingers and eyesight. Thank you.

Goodbye food. I will miss you. We had a good run but you’re like a drug addicted friend that just keeps stealing all the change out of my piggy bank. I’m so done with that scene!

Be good to yourself. I will.

Me

So, there is that. My first step in the process was to admit and acknowledge on every level that I am in love with food. Most people are to some degree but healthy eaters don’t usually source to food (all the time) for their emotional well-being. I did.

You may or may not be surprised to know that my views on food have since changed DRASTICALLY! It was something I kinda didn’t even have to think about much. Iwas the fear that prodded me into this way of thinking. Food is not love. Food is sustenance. Period.

I have been battling this crazy food thing all my life. For some reason it finally clicked.

The first two weeks were kinda hellish. I was confused about what I could and could not eat or do. I did get a good start with the doc but it was pretty basic. So I forged out onto the WWW and learned as much as I could. I still go out as often as I have questions and LOVE diabetes.org. I have signed up to be on the forum though I have not posted yet- Ive read about everything there is to read though, from meds to carbs to exercise to recopies and so forth. Great info. Another wonderful site is diabetesmall.com. That’s a great place to get info, books, supplies and more.

So I’m starting at a weight of 255, an A1C of 10 and a waking fasting BS (blood sugar) of roughly 250 +. That was three weeks ago. My waking fasting BS is now 155, don’t know what my A1C is yet since I’ve yet to go back to the doc till another week and my weight is now roughly 235.

What did I do? I did a lot to get those changes. I figured out that a diet rich in protein, low in carb, high in fiber and good fats is a great one!  I stopped eating sugar all together and now eat sugar free everything less my coffee. I use blue agave for that and its green on the glucose index. More about the GI later.

My meals now consist of small things throughout a day that you might eat all at once. I found that with testing my sugar this is how my body LOVES to eat. I take all the things I might eat in a reg meal and spread them over a course of several hours. So lets say you might have oatmeal, two eggs, toast with peanut butter and an tomato for breakfast. Sounds about right and if you do it right with good bread you can keep this down to about 50 carbs. I would eat the toast and peanut butter with the oatmeal first. Then later, about an hour or so I’ll come back for the tomato and get the eggs too. Hard boiled as that’s about the best way to eat them. I might even spread it out more if I’m not really that hungry but basically you get how it breaks down. Less sugar and less load for the insulin resistant body to handle = better BS and healthier you.

I have found a new respect for myself in all of this and new respect for food. We were frivolous lovers before and now we are friends. We don’t cross boundaires as much (still working on that one) and seem to have a good idea of what eachother is all about.

I had a BS of 104 last night and was over the moon. The first reading I got about two weeks ago under 200 made me cry! I was a lot more scared than I let myself believe.  I am a lot more in control too.

The meds they gave me are working well in relation to the other stuff I’m doing. I forgot to take it once and had a scary BS of 300 +. I thought, oh this isnt good! What happened? So I took it when I realized. Thankfully I realized early in the day.

I walk about 2-3 miles a day now too. The dog thingks that this is the best thing ever that mom got sick and now “has” to take walks. Boy, ingnorance is bliss eh? Or is it?

I am an artist, and you might already know that if you follow this blog often but I think it’s safe to say that I would be destroyed if I ever lost my sight. It might just do me in. That’s enough inspiration for me right there.

Nevermind that I am melting away! What a great feeling that is. Scary, about the same feeling of giving up my romance with food but hey- Anything new is a little scary and almost always worth the risk.

I have a new love affair- With me. This is the way it should have been to begin with. Good for me.

In the immortal words of my father “Diabetes is insidious, respect it kid. Get a handle on that eating or it’s gunna get the better of you.” Truer words were never spoken.

Okay so the Glucose Index is my new bible (told you I’d get back to it) and it’s great to help you figure out what is good and bad to put into your mouth. Some people believe that you can balance out good with bad and so on but I gotta say… what starts bad never really ends good so I just dont put it in my mouth! Not worth it! For instance.. would you ever think that popcorn is a silent sugar bomb ready to destroy your pristine blood sugar? I didnt. SURPRISE! yeah. I love popcorn. I can still have it but so so little of it. All the fiber in it doesnt even help it’s starchy goodness. It pretty much turns into pure sugar when it hirts the bloodstream! That was a serious shocker for me. I’ve had some others too. Mostly good ones. Like eating at taco bell doesnt TOTALLY suck. So there is something I can have on RARE occasion if I have the need to have something slick with animal fat and oh so tasty. Not everything that is fast food is terrible either. Just gotta know where to get the nutrionals and don’t “forget” until you get to the drive-thru. Yeah, not a good move slick. Look that stuff up online! You’re worth it dang it!

I’m a big fan of water too these days. It can take a seriously bad BS to a pretty good one in no time. I use it when I can’t get the ambiton to exercise up if I check and have bad sugar. I had some chinese tonight and miffed my sugar all over the place. Rice. Bad bad bad. White rice is a KILLER. But my water brought me through.

Water is essential anyway. You should drink as much as you can. If you’re thristy, chances are you’re already dehydrated. Think about how well your car would run on no oil or gas. Not so well. better call AAA!

Not trying to get preachy on you. I guess I say this stuff more for me. I need the preachy stuff until I’m completely sober if you will. I plan to work this much like an alcholic would work steps. Just gotta stay clean and off the crap und keep it that way. No going back for me.

The last thing I think has really helped me is that last logic. This is NOT a diet. This is a lifestyle change. It’s forever. I don’t plan to get my sugar good and then go crashing it all with a piece of sugary cake or some other crazy stuff. I’m done with that. I eat to live. Not the other way around.

In closing this will probably get harder before it gets easier. I have a lot of weight I want to lose and that is truly the only way I will get my body to stop being insulin resistant. I expect that a year from now I will be doing a lot better. I am hoping to reach my goal of 80 lbs lost by then. If not, I’ll just keep trying.

I’d like to try to keep up with this and check in for updates. I’ll do my best. I’m so not a consistent blogger!

Be good to yourself.

Me

Lampwork Cupcakes! More!

I can’t seem to stop making these…

Get your sweet treat at: www.greenglasscafe.etsy.com

Black Forest Chocolate and Madagascar Vanilla

Caramel and Toasted Brown Sugar

Deluxe Lampwork Cupcakes

Fantasy Cupcake

My buddy Julie from rockerjewlz.com and I have been drumming up some pretty neat “fantasy” cupcake designs here lately and I decided to go ahead and try to bring them to life at the torch a few nights back. I wasn’t sure that I could make all of these really complex designs happen but I was pleasently surprised!

When I opened the kiln on the first night of “fantasy cups” I was shocked and overjoyed! Yay! They came out and look just like the picture!!!!!

Fantasy Cupcake

Night two was the same. I was on fire! What a rush. Not every night is like this! Each cupcake takes me roughly an hour to make but it is absolutely a labor of love! My perfectionism is finally paying off! lol The detail just might blow your mind!

Second morning more success and now I am able to offer these delicious goodies to you with confidence via: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19370414

Fantasy Cupcake

I’m only taking 15 of these custom orders for the Valentines Day series (the first two batches of buyables are sold, sorry!) and only 13 remain. They are priced right and will make an absolute mouth-watering piece!

I will be making more of these but I’m just not sure when yet. Before V-day for sure but get your order in now, as these wont last long and I wont be making any custom V-day orders after the 1st of Feb!

Fantasy Cupcake

Cupcakes are not only delicious but they’re adorable and right now, all the rage! Cupcakes never really do go out of style though do they?

Enjoy.

Peace.

Payton

Grafton Illinois- The Eagles Roost

We headed up to Grafton on Friday to see the Bald Eagles in Grafton Illinois. The drive and landscape is truly enough to look at with the many miles of road laid directly next to the Mississippi River. This beautiful drive is called “river road” for obvious reasons.

From late November to Early March the Bald Eagles come to nest, hunt and rear their offspring. It’s quite the spectacle; With a wingspan of 6 feet or more and a body as big as a medium-sized dog the Eagle is truly a sight to behold.

We had a nice day driving around this gorgeous place with it’s craggy cliffs and endless open fields of golden grass and wetlands made by the Mississippi’s swolen riverbanks. We saw Blue Heron, tons of Seagulls, The Crow and or Raven,  and of course what we came looking for that magestic bird with it’s glimering white head and foot feathers. Most of what we saw was from a distance but with a bit of luck, on our way back towards home we saw several soaring through the air that I got some pretty good pictures of and then my favorite: The Poser. I took picture after picture getting closer and closer still until I ran out of Macro on my camera. I was nearly in tears as this fantastic bird was nearly extinct sometime ago. I felt extremely lucky to have seen and photgraphed such a wonderful sight.

Here are some of the photographs I grabbed:

Grafton Illinois. Cliffs and Golden Fields.

Blue Heron in their protected habitat

Blue Heron again.

Wetlands on a cold January day.

Our first eagle sighting at the wetlands.

Blue Heron

Blue Heron

The Sun is Setting

Setting Sun

Seagull at sunset

Blue Heron at the park just landed for us.

Blue Heron. Look at his breast adornment.

Wow! He/She’s gorgeous!

Lone Seagull

Cold Foot?

A B&B in Grafton.

Way up on that hill…

An Eagle WAY up there

Spactacular Sunset on the River Road

The Sunset!

The River Road

Eagle!

River Road Again

The Poser

All those birds!

Industrial Nature

It was a really awesome time. I ended up with quite a few pictures that I consider “sale” quality and I’ll be posting those at my new Etsy shop  soon!

Payton

The New Year- A Clean Slate. Woo Hoo!

Ding! Ding! The bell rings- Round two!

This will be my second official year in biz and I’m excited to feel like I’m just a bit more seasoned this year than last. It was a tough year chok-full of invaluable information! For example did you know there was a retail beast? I didn’t either until I got eaten alive by it last year.

This year I’m all over it!

Couple of things will change in terms of the GGC information highway- I will still release newsletters (because I still believe this is the best way to inform everyone) but instead of just releasing them I will be posting them here as well  in a new section called “in case you missed it”.

I’ve already started Valentines beads for this year and just in case you missed it- (see that’s kinda clever isn’t it?) I will be having cut–off dates as to when I will take the very last custom order of the season.

I’m not 100% as to how it will all work but I’d like to keep everyone aware of what I’ll be making v.s. what you’ll be needin’ and all that. Sounds like a plan to me.

I do know that if you miss a sale or announcement you will be able to catch it here. So even though I’ve been a bad blogger this past  year my typing fingers are getting ready to get a work-out!

So yeah.  I feel good about being a lot more on top of things that are about to happen, happening and already happened. Being locked away in the bead cave for that first year or so was fun but I like the sunshine too!

I look forward to this next year and am itching like crazy to try out an encyclopedias-worth of new jewelry/silver/bead ideas!

If you have some feedback on my new system, I’d love to hear from you.

Payton

www.greenglasscafe.com